


More than Death, Worse than Hell

by Nononlnkink



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Bittersweet, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Depressing, Gen, Minor Character Death, Not A Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 20:20:45
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10171073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nononlnkink/pseuds/Nononlnkink
Summary: Megatron through the heavy darkness, alone, after Dark Cybertron.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm testing out a writing style so I apologize for anything funky.
> 
> Please note this is a character study based on my ideas of where this character began and how he grew. It may not fit the canon perfectly or another's theory.

“Alone. Yes, that’s the key word, the most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn’t hold a candle to it and Hell is only a poor synonym.” - Stephen King

 

 

_ Execute me! Kill me! Torture me! _ Anything - anything but this. Watching the feeble attempts at freeing him from the arena. Where would they take him? It’s Luna-2, there’s nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. In the stands, Starscream isn’t surprised by the expression on his haughty face. Prime and Ultra Magnus appear to be enjoying dealing with the foolhardy Decepticons. Prowl has shifted, half turned away from him, doorwings wide and angled to catch any movement. Doesn’t trust him. Hmph, there is no need. Megatron doesn’t trust himself. He’d be more likely to take the black and white’s gun and shoot himself then turn it against anyone else. 

They draw the trial to a quick close, breaking for an extended recess. Prowl and Magnus disappear, probably to sniff out the last of the Decepticons. Megatron hopes they aren’t foolish enough to try again. Then he wonders why he should care. He no longer leads them, he is nothing but a disgrace to the cause that he had stirred up so long ago. It shouldn’t remember him. They take him back to a cell to wait. Prime hesitates by the bars, just beyond the snapping energy. He must want to say something, ask if Megatron knew about the attack, if he had planned it, if Starscream was involved. Prime walks away without a word. They know each other too well. There is no need for words to be said aloud. Megatron heard and Prime got his answer.  _ He knew nothing. _

They came for him only after they were sure that there would be no more...distractions. Prowl’s engine is still cycling down from an angry rumble. He must have been arguing for an execution again. If Megatron had a choice, he’d agree. He’d only brought pain and suffering to the world that he wished to restored. He may have been blind to that before, but not now. Now he is alone with nothing more than the thoughts raging in his processor. They want justice just as much as these Autobots and Neutrals do. 

He does not miss the dismissive attitude Prime has towards the officer. Interesting to see how not only his own once close relationships had deteriorated. The thought nearly sends a pang of anguish to his spark. His soldiers, his officers, his army -  _ they _ were the ones he led through more suffering than any other. Is Prime going to be like him? Will Prime simply arrange for Prowl to meet an accident one day? Will he tear out the officer’s spark in front of an audience? Megatron shoves the thoughts away when Prime shuts off the energy and steps back to allow him to pass. Megatron does so with no hurry. He may wish to end, but that does not mean he will run towards it with open arms. Not yet. They may punish him by not allowing him to extinguish. 

As they walk the long path back to the arena, Megatron’s thoughts whisper to him. Remember the first time you killed? Warm energon on his hands, splashed against his face. Or maybe the first time someone defied him and he did not listen to reason? Starscream hated him now. Had for a long time. Would it have been different if he had been more attentive to the ideas of his officers? Less death on their -  _ his _ \- hands? Would the war have ended before it could destroy their home? He could have been happy once upon a time - if he had only listened. His ideals, while noble and honest, had lead to war and the near extinction of his species. 

Should that blame be placed solely on his shoulders?

There were others that were just as bloodcrazed, just as sadistic, violent, terrible at spark. Was the Decepticons merely a way to feed their addictions, their obsessions? Did the cause, did the early ideals mean anything to them? Did they mean anything to  _ him _ near the end?

Not until Bumblebee died by his side, as a companion, not an enemy. A friend - no, that suggests there was something more than the wish to see Cybertron survive. Something else. A word that has long since been forgotten. Now Megatron wears the torn Autobot symbol on his chest. In memory? In repentance? The first few who noticed the symbol had been too shocked to say much. They all had been bloodstained, weary. A thin respect shared between them all due to their survival and will to stay and fight. It’s long since gone and Megatron is only looked at in suspicion and anger.

He is jerked to the present again by an ungentle tug on one arm. Prime is looking at him with that all-knowing, all-seeing blue gaze. There is wisdom and kindness in his optics and Megatron turns away. He lost such virtues and, as such, does not deserve them. Not until he has repented - not until his spark gutters out.

The trial begins much the same as before. Prime signals for Prowl to begin, although Megatron notices how the Prime does not seem to be listening. His ancient gaze is settled on Megatron and he shifts under the weight of it. When was the last time he felt as if everything he was had been laid bare before someone? The first memory that is called up is when he had asked Soundwave to demonstrate the limits of his telepathy. 

Prowl’s words are meaningless to him. Ultra Magnus barely moves beside him, only interrupting a total of five times on Megatron’s behalf. He only asks for Prowl to clarify things. Nothing the black and white says is untrue or exaggerated. He is bound by the law to remain to the truths and Megatron wishes he could embellish, triple the death count, make him into more of a monster. Anything to let him take a step towards the gallows. 

Starscream is brought in to speak. Megatron pays more attention to him than anyone else. Starscream had been important to his plans once, had been the reason and unending criticism that led to successful plans and strategies. The jet’s tone is condescending. Does he believe Megatron should have simply run and never look back? Starscream is less formal and is not afraid to add in little details that Megatron knows Prowl and Ultra Magnus will not miss. Anything to place the blame on Megatron and reserve as little as possible for himself. Megatron almost smiles. Despite everything, Starscream has not changed much. His speech is long and tedious for the Autobots and Neutrals to listen to. Megatron only is strengthened in his resolve for his desire. 

In the end, Megatron learns his fate from the Prime. The large Autobot sits beside him silently. Megatron tries to talk, talks too much, demands what Prime wants. He is given a datapad. It is his punishment. 

You expect me to captain a ship, Megatron is shocked.

Prime does little to explain. It will be worse than any other verdict we can get approved. 

Megatron can imagine how angry some will be at learning of this development. He is almost angry. This is not the end. This is no execution. 

When he meets the crew, he figures he could provoke one of them to rip out his spark. It will be easy to do based off the furious looks he and Prime are receiving. Rodimus is already a handful. Maybe just by dealing with the overactive mech will lead to a spark attack. That would be just as acceptable. 

He fights with Whirl. He commands the former Wrecker to end him. Whirl nearly does. Instead, Megatron finds himself staring up into a yellow optic that suddenly brightens with understanding. It is a short-lived connection. Megatron walks away knowing he is not the only one. Ratchet is furious at him. The medic is the one of the few who had wearily accepted him into their lives. Another glitch he’ll have to patch-up. Megatron finds himself almost enjoying the cranky medic’s company. He leaves as soon as he is allowed. No forming attachments. 

The psychologist is too smart for his own good. Megatron wants to avoid him, but if he wishes to remain without any more spying eyes, he must attend their meetings. Rung is unafraid of him. Dealt with more aggressive patients before. Maybe not as cunning, but certainly much less willing. Megatron wonders what that means. Rung does not give much away about anyone else, no matter the pressing or answers he gets. Maybe he should talk to the crew himself?  _ No _ . Not possible. 

Ravage tries to keep him company. The cybercat only reminds him of home and of millions of years of war. Of the host that Ravage left behind. Soundwave must be in pain for losing his oldest symbiot. He tries to suggest that Ravage return, but he is told to mind his own business. Much less politely. Megatron drops it for now. 

The adventures of the  _ Lost Light _ may redefine history one day. Megatron fills his free time writing about crew members, the latest gossip, trying to patch together stories based on what he has heard about previous adventures. There are tens of datapads on his desk now. Very few are work - Ultra Magnus snatches those to do himself. Why? Megatron does not know, nor does he expect to ever know. He finds himself getting into arguments with Rodimus every other day. Most of them are about silly things. No, we cannot paint the command deck brilliant green. No, we cannot use money for medbay supplies to buy highgrade to celebrate Cyclonus and Tailgate ‘finally getting a clue’.  _ No _ , Rodimus. Just... _ no _ .

When they leave and find themselves abandoned on the Necroworld, Megatron is horrified to find himself surprised and shocked. He did not realize that he had grown close to so many of the bots on the  _ Lost Light’s _ crew. He knew he was still enemy number one for many, but it was a lesser number than he figured. Rodimus’ standing up for him nearly made him speechless. What had he done to be seen as redeemable in their optics? Ravage taps his leg with a paw to signal that he understands. Not everything, but more than enough to know he needed a supportive touch.

Then comes the DJD. He had forgotten about them so many millions of years ago. Forgot that he had soldiers that had idolized him so and were not driven by fear of him. Tarn claimed to be of his, but Megatron was quick to deny it.  _ His _ were in the Nercobot’s building, terrified and desperately trying to come up with some defense. Overlord showing up was a surprise to many. Too many wounds had been carved by him.

Then...then they appeared to be winning. Megatron watched as the troops that swarmed the planet retreated. Only his mistake remained. Glitch, Crucible, Scissorsaw, Forstock. Amp had disappeared - dead most likely. One less for him to worry about. First was Forstock. Denamed, renounced, killed. One by one. Glitch was last. Megatron let him watch his team get torn apart, knowing he would have been given the same  _ show _ . 

He tried to plead. Be reasonable, he said.  _ Be reasonable.  _ Megatron wanted to laugh, something dark and empty as the anti-matter crackling around him. Tarn is dead. There never was a Tarn. Only this mech who called Megatron a god while murdering those written on a list. A  _ list _ . 

Denamed.  _ Glitch _ . Denounced.  _ Not of his. Never one of his. _ And killed. Torn apart by the anti-matter. Make it hurt, make it painful, make it  _ slow _ . 

Megatron knew the wish for Glitch’s death was what he wished for himself. That it felt satiated after was something he would wait to process.

He needed to check on his. Mourn for those lost. 

For Ravage, who asked him not to change. And only now could Megatron see what the cybercat meant. He did not change, no. He is as he once could have been. Megatron, a mech of words, not violence. Who wished to speak out against injustice and wrongs, fight against them. He just did not see it. But...the others did.


End file.
